Also, who the fuck has a dynamite collection? What a dumb thing to have. You would think common sense would prevail. But no.

The dynamite salesman came to me at a time of weakness. Here's how it went down:

Dynamite guy: Hey, so I've got this dynamite.

Me: Yeeeeaaahhhh...I don't really need any dynamite.

Dynamite guy: Oh come on. If I don't sell this dynamite my family won't be able to eat and my children will all die.

Me: Ummm...dynamite you say?

Dynamite guy: It's totally legit. Usually I'll sell this much for $50, but I like you so I'll give it to you for...10 cents.

Me: Holy shit. 10 cents? For dynamite? I don't even need dynamite.

Dynamite guy: Come on.

Me: No.

Dynamite Guy: Come ON!

Me: NO!

Dynamite Guy: Pleeeaaassseeeee...come on. Just buy all this dynamite.

Me: Aww fuck, alright. I'll buy your god damned dynamite. Just get off my back.

Dynamite guy: Yesss. Here you go. 247 pounds of way volatile dynamite, don't tell people you have this or you might get in trouble.

Me: Holy crap, this is way awkward. I changed my mind. I don't want your 247 pounds of way volatile dynamite.

Dynamite guy: To late. See ya later, sucker.

Okay, so here's a good metaphor I have. 

Let's say that you have a thing. Like...a plant. No. Let's say you have a...I don't know, a thing. And this thing, you care about it. Let's say it's a guitar. You have this guitar, and you polish it, and you change the strings, and you make sure you don't ding it up. You take really good care of it. You're proud of it. 

Then let's say, one day you just finished cleaning it and you put it into it's expensive case and carefully place it in the closet. But you forgot that you also keep your old collection of dynamite in the closet, your dynamite. How could you forgot your dynamite collection? It's old, and useless. You're kind of embarrased about it. Who keeps an old dynamite collection anyways? 

As it turns out your dynamite is way volatile and the action of placing your guitar into the closet sets off the dynamite and it blows up your guitar. OH NO! YOUR GUITAR! 

That stupid fucking dynamite. Why couldn't you just tell the dynamite police about it and have them take it away? They said you wouldn't get in trouble. They said "If you have any dynamite, let us know. We won't arrest you, we'll take it away and carefully dispose of it and you won't be in any trouble. At all." 

But you were just too ashamed. Dynamite collection. HA!

Well, I hope you've learned your lesson. Any time the dynamite police offer to safely remove your old dynamite collections free of charge, I suggest you take them up on the offer. I certainly will. As embarrasing as your collection might be, it's not worth the damage it causes to your guitar.

Today I took 7 pennies from the take a penny leave a penny container.  I purchased a beverage from a gas station on the way to my interview, thinking it couldn't be more than $1. I was wrong, it was $1.07, but I only had $1. Therefore I was forced to take 7 pennies belonging to the general public. 

I'm sure the lady overseeing this transaction was taken aback. Normally you don't take 7 cents, you take one or two. But I needed 7.  I justified my action by telling myself that I NEVER use the take a penny leave a penny container. I always put my pennies in there, but I never take them. I figure that over the course of my life I've probably lost at least 2 or 3 bucks to those things. So really, society owes me.