Sexy vampires are so boring. You can hardly even consider a vampire to be a monster. From its outward appearance, the only giveaway would be its pointy front teeth and pale skin. What's so risque about that? Lame. I want a relationship with a hot ass vampire lady who's always showing off her cleavage and spends a ton of time at sexy vampire dance parties with laser-light shows and techno music. I'm not scared. If she really loves me she won't suck my blood. She'll suck something else. HA HA HA!!! OHHH GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!! LOL!! OMG!!! WXYZ!

Anyways. I would be much more hesitant to enter into a secret relationship with a sexy dinosaur-monster or a sexy killer squid. THAT deserves to have a movie made about it. THAT'S going against social norms.

Although...there is one thing that I would be concerned about when it comes to sexy vampires: spousal abuse. I bet any vampire, lady or dude, could beat me up. What if I forget the vampire equivalent of her birthday. Would she throw me into a table? Would she hiss at me? What if she had other powers that she was hiding from me, and then all the sudden she's making me levitate in the air, mere inches from poisonous snakes forcing me to swear I'll clean up my dishes next time. That would be kind of scary, but still worth it. Because...mmmm mmm mmm...she would be so sexy.