Dear The Tooth Fairy,

I am writing to inquire about the status of my reimbursement for the 4 wisdom teeth that I lost in October. I realize that times are tough right now, but having money placed under our pillows by a mythical creature after losing a tooth is currently the only thing separating us from the apes. WHAT ARE WE WITHOUT OUR DIGNITY!?

I am not mad, merely frustrated. If you cannot afford to pay me I would be willing to arrange some sort of payment plan, or even a slave type situation. You can clean my room, make me dinner, possibly hook me up with one of your hot fairy friends.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Me