I've been somewhat studying for the GRE. The book has about 3,000 words that you're supposed to learn. They give the definition, then use it in a sentence. Some of the sentences they use are pretty silly and I like to try and imagine a situation in real life where their example sentences would actually be used.
Vanguard Forerunners; advance forces. We are the vanguard of a tremendous army that is following us.
So with this one I imagine a few army scouts have been captured by the enemy and they are currently being questioned by some sort of hairy middle eastern fellow.
Good guys : You'll never get us to talk! We'll be rescued within the hour!
Bad guys: I don't see anyone else here to rescue you...
Good guys: WE ARE THE VANGUARD OF A TREMENDOUS ARMY THAT IS FOLLOWING US!
Bad guys: What?
Good guys: I said, WE ARE THE VANG-
Bad guys: Yeah, no. We heard what you said, we just have no idea what the word "vanguard" means. It sounds like one of those words you would learn specifically for the GRE.
Good guys: It's like...forerunners...advanced forces. That sort of thing. WE are the vanguard.
Bad guys: Uhh....Could you use it in a sentence please?
Good guys: I just did, remember? I said "WE ARE THE VANGUARD OF A TREMENDOUS ARMY THAT IS FOLLOWING US!"
Bad guys: Riiiiight. I don't know why you have to use such unnessecarily large vocabulary. We hardly speak english.
Ejaculation exclamation. He could not repress an ejaculation of suprise when he heard the news.
Ok. This one is too easy. It's about these two guys, and one has this problem where every time he hears suprising news, he ejaculates. I know that this is supposed to be some sort of verbal cry, but this way is funnier.
Guy 1: Hey Todd, did you hear that my sister got married.
Todd: Really? Congratulations. That's great.
Guy 1: Yeah. I'm happy for her. Did you know she has 3 boobs?
Todd: Oh...Ohhhhhhh...Oh god...uhhhhh....mmmmmm....OH GOD!!
Guy 2: Did Todd just...
Guy 1: Yes. He has this problem. He could not repress an ejaculation of suprise when he heard the news.
Guy 2: Oh. Ok.
Vanguard Forerunners; advance forces. We are the vanguard of a tremendous army that is following us.
So with this one I imagine a few army scouts have been captured by the enemy and they are currently being questioned by some sort of hairy middle eastern fellow.
Good guys : You'll never get us to talk! We'll be rescued within the hour!
Bad guys: I don't see anyone else here to rescue you...
Good guys: WE ARE THE VANGUARD OF A TREMENDOUS ARMY THAT IS FOLLOWING US!
Bad guys: What?
Good guys: I said, WE ARE THE VANG-
Bad guys: Yeah, no. We heard what you said, we just have no idea what the word "vanguard" means. It sounds like one of those words you would learn specifically for the GRE.
Good guys: It's like...forerunners...advanced forces. That sort of thing. WE are the vanguard.
Bad guys: Uhh....Could you use it in a sentence please?
Good guys: I just did, remember? I said "WE ARE THE VANGUARD OF A TREMENDOUS ARMY THAT IS FOLLOWING US!"
Bad guys: Riiiiight. I don't know why you have to use such unnessecarily large vocabulary. We hardly speak english.
Ejaculation exclamation. He could not repress an ejaculation of suprise when he heard the news.
Ok. This one is too easy. It's about these two guys, and one has this problem where every time he hears suprising news, he ejaculates. I know that this is supposed to be some sort of verbal cry, but this way is funnier.
Guy 1: Hey Todd, did you hear that my sister got married.
Todd: Really? Congratulations. That's great.
Guy 1: Yeah. I'm happy for her. Did you know she has 3 boobs?
Todd: Oh...Ohhhhhhh...Oh god...uhhhhh....mmmmmm....OH GOD!!
Guy 2: Did Todd just...
Guy 1: Yes. He has this problem. He could not repress an ejaculation of suprise when he heard the news.
Guy 2: Oh. Ok.
posted by Ben at
1:42 PM
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