"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

But do you know what else it begins with? A hearty breakfast.

Hi, I'm Lao Tzu. When I wake up at 3:45 every morning, the first thing I do is self-flagellate. Then I meditate for 9 hours while wearing a shirt made out of goat hair. However, following that I always have a big bowl of Kellog's Special K cereal. It gives me the energy I need to meditate for another 17 hours while denying myself all worldly pleasures, like taste. Special K is very bland.

I once said “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”.

I can't remember what I meant by that, but I almost certainly was eating Special K right before I said it.

Blog Layout

I get a lot of questions from people asking me who designed the layout of my blog, how did I choose the color scheme, what my font is, that kind of stuff.

So here is just kind of a quick rundown on the essentials:

It's pretty much just black. I think that there is a way that you can make it look different, but I forgot how to do that. There are some gray lines too. They're dotted. I like the gray because it's a nice contrast to the black. Brown also is a color.

The font is kind of tiny font. Compared to the rest of the screen it doesn't really take up that much room. I hesitate to delve too much into the specifics, but I will say this: it's white, which is a nice contrast to black.

The person that designed this specific layout was named "None". I chose it because I felt it conveyed the...actually..."None" might not have been his name.

A short story about how one day in 6th grade I was walking home and was confronted with a situation in which I had to choose between....

tying somebody's shoes, or boxing them.

That's actually the whole story.