Dear Diary,

I have so many good ideas all the time that sometimes I think other people are jealous of me. If my brain was a yard, and my ideas were leaves then I would always be having to rake my yard! Or if my ideas were down feathers and my brain was a pillow case I would have such a giant, soft pillow! Or if my ideas were a whole bunch of nails and my brain was a person who works in a foster home and has a giant bag, he would always be walking around and making statements to little homeless kids like "Jeez, what am I doing with this giant bag of nails!? Anybody!?"