Thursday, January 15, 2009

I was thinking about what would be a very awkward first date conversation. First dates, in and of themselves, are quite awkward. You don't know the person so most of the conversation is rather superficial. You could try and have deep conversation but it would be weird to follow up "what are your top 5 favorite ice cream flavors?" with "isn't it weird to look up into the stars and know that if God made the stars and heaven, who made God? And who made the thing that made God? And how would you solve the current crisis in the Middle East?"

I can definitely see myself having a first date like this:

"So Sue, what is it that you do?"
"My name isn't Sue...it's Mary."
"I know that, I was just yanking your chain. Like this, yank yank yank...oh god, is it hot in here or is it just you?"
"Umm...It's actually rather cold. Remind me again why we're having our first date in a meat locker?"
"Well, I know the guy that owns the place and he gave me a great deal on it for the whole evening. His name is Brian, he really knows a lot about meat. I really like meat. Do you like meat? I remember when I was young I really liked meat. But now, I also like it. Remind me again how you feel about meat?"
"Yeah, I guess I like meat okay."
"Cool, cool. Meat's awesome. TOTALLY. So Marie, what do you do?
"My name isn't Marie, it's Mary. And we work together."
"Cool, cool. Tell me, what are your top 3 movies of all time? Mine are definitely Star Wars, Gladiator and The Natural. Ha ha, ohhh man.
"I hate Russel Crowe, he's such a meat head."
"Yeah, I hate him too. It's like...take an acting lesson already, right? Ohhhh man."
"Sure. Listen I've got to work pretty early tomorrow morning. And I'm losing feeling in my legs, could you take me home?"

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