What do you think was going through the mind of the first person ever to wake up in the middle of the night with one of their arms asleep. I bet it was something like this:
"Huh...what...oh...I am just here, lying in bed. I wonder what time it is? 3:26 am, good I can still go back to sleep. I'm just going to itch my left arm real quick...WHAT THE FUCK!? OH SHIT! Okay, calm down. Just because your arms feels like a heavy bag full of pudding, that's no reason to be alarmed. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, fuck fuck fuck. I can't feel anything, this is really creepy. Is this my punishment oh lord for being gluttonous and eating that second jimmy cake last night? WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME!? I HATE TO BE FORSAKED...FORSAKENED...FORSOOK... I HATE IT! Wait...my arm is tingling. Oh mercy this is so awkward, hast thou placed tiny little bugs 'neath my skin? Ooohh, now this kind of tickles. Hee hee my lord, a most curious sensation this is. Most curious indeed...why...I believe I am regaining some sensation! Glory! Perhaps that second jimmy cake wasn't such a gluttonous act afterall! Hallelujah!"
"Huh...what...oh...I am just here, lying in bed. I wonder what time it is? 3:26 am, good I can still go back to sleep. I'm just going to itch my left arm real quick...WHAT THE FUCK!? OH SHIT! Okay, calm down. Just because your arms feels like a heavy bag full of pudding, that's no reason to be alarmed. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, fuck fuck fuck. I can't feel anything, this is really creepy. Is this my punishment oh lord for being gluttonous and eating that second jimmy cake last night? WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME!? I HATE TO BE FORSAKED...FORSAKENED...FORSOOK... I HATE IT! Wait...my arm is tingling. Oh mercy this is so awkward, hast thou placed tiny little bugs 'neath my skin? Ooohh, now this kind of tickles. Hee hee my lord, a most curious sensation this is. Most curious indeed...why...I believe I am regaining some sensation! Glory! Perhaps that second jimmy cake wasn't such a gluttonous act afterall! Hallelujah!"
1 Comments:
maybe it's because I hear your voice when I read these (does that sound creepy?), but god they're funny...oh shit! I hope this doesn't put too much pressure on you to stay funny.
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