Dear snot,

Where do you come from, and how is there so much of you?

Dear Satan,

How come you have horns? What do you do with them? Are they for self defense?

Dear alarm clocks,

Shut up.

Dear Mongoose,

What is the plural of you?

Dear Lil' Kim,

You're not so little any more.

Dear the kitten sitting on my feet,

Awwwwwwwwww.